So.....tonight was day 1 of some serious tough love for Miss Jazara! At almost 6 weeks, she has certainly figured us all out. Now I know how things should be done as I have 11 years experience but my god, when it's your own child EVERYTHING goes out the window! Why is that??? I would like to share the blame with KB as she too enjoys a bit of a cuddle or two with Miss Jazara but a cuddle with KB results in her being rocked to sleep- (tut tut tut) I think that we should all give it up to Jazara as she cried for 2 hours tonight!!!! How persistent is that!!!
Despite these bedtime cries I think I have been given the happiest little baby, for a couple of weeks now Jazara has been incredibly inquisitive and full of smiles. She will stare at you so intently which makes you wonder what they actually think about, If anything.
Today we had a follow up appointment with the chiropractor and everything was In order from her last "adjustment" So, she is now a well aligned bubba!
Breast feeding is slowly getting better but still not great, It still amazes me as to how difficult It really is. I never imagined It to be a learned skill and to come with so many problems but I have persevered and I think Im getting the knack of it now.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sad Sad Day
I know a lot has transpired over the past 3 weeks but today was one of the saddest days I have ever experienced. As I sit here thinking about it, I can't help but shed some tears and wish that things were different.
Bro left this morning, he decided that It was best for him to head back to the states to give me some space and time to breath, I guess for both of us really. At the time I thought that this was In our best interests but as I sit here alone with Jazara I wish we had of done more to correct the problems. I know that there are lots of changes after having a baby and people need to find their roles but for us, It seems that we had to deal with a whole lot more.
Despite what you've heard or been told I do still love Bro and always will. I am not excusing his behavior one bit but I think you do need to understand where he was coming from and the type of person he is. Moving to Australia is a big move for anyone, Bro gave up his whole life to come here and unfortunately he didnt feel like he had a say in anything. I can only imagine how hard it is for a grown man to live under the same roof as his potential in-laws and not be in the comforts of your own environment. I do understand and perhaps I am to blame for why things went down the way they did. If I knew how he was then why didn't I make a decision for us as a couple to move out to make him feel more comfortable?? I mean money wasn't the issue.
NYC to lil old Seaford aint no easy task for anyone and the fact is, he had so much time on his hands and nothing to do... Now I start to blame myself for not doing more =(
As It stands, Bro will be In the states for the next couple of months or at least until the visa comes through, we will then re evaluate the situation. Maybe this time apart will allow us to see what we want and how we can get there together. When he comes back we will have 3 months before having to get married so I'm hopeful that we can get back to a happy place and continue living happily together as a family.
I have been with Bro for 5 years. In this time I have seen the good, the bad and the evil. I stuck with him because I love him with all my heart, he may have a tough exterior but how he normally treats me is with love and respect. He makes me laugh and I always feel so safe and secure with him around. I really miss this Bro.
I know each of you are going to have your own opinions about Bro now BUT I would hope that you all stick by me in whatever It is that I decide Is in my and Jazara's best Interests. He is and always will be in my life and you need to understand this. You can't tell your heart who to love, it just happens.
So..... Right now I'm hurting and feeling really low, I don't need anyone bad mouthing him to me as I know what happened and I don't need to be reminded. It's going to take me some time to get over this emotional state that I'm In right now so please be patient and understanding of my feelings.
Bro left this morning, he decided that It was best for him to head back to the states to give me some space and time to breath, I guess for both of us really. At the time I thought that this was In our best interests but as I sit here alone with Jazara I wish we had of done more to correct the problems. I know that there are lots of changes after having a baby and people need to find their roles but for us, It seems that we had to deal with a whole lot more.
Despite what you've heard or been told I do still love Bro and always will. I am not excusing his behavior one bit but I think you do need to understand where he was coming from and the type of person he is. Moving to Australia is a big move for anyone, Bro gave up his whole life to come here and unfortunately he didnt feel like he had a say in anything. I can only imagine how hard it is for a grown man to live under the same roof as his potential in-laws and not be in the comforts of your own environment. I do understand and perhaps I am to blame for why things went down the way they did. If I knew how he was then why didn't I make a decision for us as a couple to move out to make him feel more comfortable?? I mean money wasn't the issue.
NYC to lil old Seaford aint no easy task for anyone and the fact is, he had so much time on his hands and nothing to do... Now I start to blame myself for not doing more =(
As It stands, Bro will be In the states for the next couple of months or at least until the visa comes through, we will then re evaluate the situation. Maybe this time apart will allow us to see what we want and how we can get there together. When he comes back we will have 3 months before having to get married so I'm hopeful that we can get back to a happy place and continue living happily together as a family.
I have been with Bro for 5 years. In this time I have seen the good, the bad and the evil. I stuck with him because I love him with all my heart, he may have a tough exterior but how he normally treats me is with love and respect. He makes me laugh and I always feel so safe and secure with him around. I really miss this Bro.
I know each of you are going to have your own opinions about Bro now BUT I would hope that you all stick by me in whatever It is that I decide Is in my and Jazara's best Interests. He is and always will be in my life and you need to understand this. You can't tell your heart who to love, it just happens.
So..... Right now I'm hurting and feeling really low, I don't need anyone bad mouthing him to me as I know what happened and I don't need to be reminded. It's going to take me some time to get over this emotional state that I'm In right now so please be patient and understanding of my feelings.
Monday, October 3, 2011
We cry together...
Saturday we had to pay another visit to Frankston hospital as Jazara's Newborn screening test didnt collect enough blood. It was so weird going back into the maternity ward, hard to imagine that it was 9 days ago that J entered our lives- time really does fly by when you're having fun.
I was fully prepared that J was going to be upset with the heel prick but didnt think I would end up getting so emotional!!! As sooon as that bottom lip dropped it was a wrap, her eyes quickly filled with tears and mama bear wasn't far behind her. How many times have I had to do this for work and It never once bothered me, now that it's my own flesh and blood it's a completely different story. Someone inflicted pain on my daughter and I wasn't able to make it better =( I think me has to toughen up!!! Haha
Today I had an appointment with a breast feeding consultant which was great. I've been having some issues in that department and she assures me that it will get better. Unfortunately my boobs have suffered A LOT and I'm now at a high risk of getting mastitis. The consultant gave me props for persevering with It as she said most people with as much damage as me would have thrown in the towel long ago. I'm trying to keep up with miss Jazara but It appears that I have a hungry lil girl on my hands.
I was fully prepared that J was going to be upset with the heel prick but didnt think I would end up getting so emotional!!! As sooon as that bottom lip dropped it was a wrap, her eyes quickly filled with tears and mama bear wasn't far behind her. How many times have I had to do this for work and It never once bothered me, now that it's my own flesh and blood it's a completely different story. Someone inflicted pain on my daughter and I wasn't able to make it better =( I think me has to toughen up!!! Haha
Today I had an appointment with a breast feeding consultant which was great. I've been having some issues in that department and she assures me that it will get better. Unfortunately my boobs have suffered A LOT and I'm now at a high risk of getting mastitis. The consultant gave me props for persevering with It as she said most people with as much damage as me would have thrown in the towel long ago. I'm trying to keep up with miss Jazara but It appears that I have a hungry lil girl on my hands.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Jazara Elese
Jazara Elese born 22nd September at 1.58am. 8 pounds 6 ounces
Well my little bundle of joy arrived and I am feeling blessed!!! My waters broke Wednesday 21st at 1pm and let me tell you, this was not what i expected, all I can say is thank GOD i wasn't out and about when that happened =) After making a quick phone call to the hospital they asked me to come in so they could confirm that it was in fact my membranes. There was no doubt in my mind that it was in fact my waters!!! Anyway, after being checked out they sent me home and warned me that nothing may happen for up to 96 hours and since I was already 5 days past my due date they went ahead and booked me in for an induction but said I would more than likely go before then.
I was getting mild contractions for the rest of the day but nothing too serious until around 9pm. Called the hospital again and they told me to stay at home until I couldnt manage any longer, I suppose I have a high tolerance to pain as I stayed home until 12 am ish. By the time I got to the hospital I could barely walk. Once up in the maternity ward they put me into an assessment room to check how far along my contractions were and also check baby Jazara's heart rate. This was the time that things started getting hazy for me, my memory of what transpired may be a little bit off as I was so focussed on the pain and pressure. It's so weird trying to explain the exact feeling and everytime a midwife asked me something I wouldnt know how to respond. After having my assessment done they rushed me into the delievery room as I was already 8cm dialated, from here It all happened super quick and after 8 mins of solid active pushing and NO DRUGS, I gave birth to the most wonderful bundle of joy. Words can not express the joy I feel and the happiness that It was a GIRL!!! I think we were all pretty convinced that there was no way that I was going to be having a girl, especially after Daena had just had Nina.
Anyway, she is just perfect!!!
Well my little bundle of joy arrived and I am feeling blessed!!! My waters broke Wednesday 21st at 1pm and let me tell you, this was not what i expected, all I can say is thank GOD i wasn't out and about when that happened =) After making a quick phone call to the hospital they asked me to come in so they could confirm that it was in fact my membranes. There was no doubt in my mind that it was in fact my waters!!! Anyway, after being checked out they sent me home and warned me that nothing may happen for up to 96 hours and since I was already 5 days past my due date they went ahead and booked me in for an induction but said I would more than likely go before then.
I was getting mild contractions for the rest of the day but nothing too serious until around 9pm. Called the hospital again and they told me to stay at home until I couldnt manage any longer, I suppose I have a high tolerance to pain as I stayed home until 12 am ish. By the time I got to the hospital I could barely walk. Once up in the maternity ward they put me into an assessment room to check how far along my contractions were and also check baby Jazara's heart rate. This was the time that things started getting hazy for me, my memory of what transpired may be a little bit off as I was so focussed on the pain and pressure. It's so weird trying to explain the exact feeling and everytime a midwife asked me something I wouldnt know how to respond. After having my assessment done they rushed me into the delievery room as I was already 8cm dialated, from here It all happened super quick and after 8 mins of solid active pushing and NO DRUGS, I gave birth to the most wonderful bundle of joy. Words can not express the joy I feel and the happiness that It was a GIRL!!! I think we were all pretty convinced that there was no way that I was going to be having a girl, especially after Daena had just had Nina.
Anyway, she is just perfect!!!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
35 Week bump
Big mama in the house!! Starting to feel as big as a house & having problems getting comfortable but I really can't complain, had some back issues but I'm going to the chiropractor every other week and it seems to b doing the trick.
24 more days until Dris arrives on Aussie soil!!!
I can't wait until Dris arrives although it's a bit of a scary thought as 10 days after his arrival we will hopefully have a new addition to the family! It seems like so long ago I first found out about bubba D and since then so much has happened, moving from Germany back to Australia and getting started with school. It has definitely been a busy time. I finished up the course load at school the only thing I'm left to do this year is a 4 week job placement which I will look into doing sometime In November. I will then hopefully go back In Feb and If all goes to plan will have my diploma by July 2012.
Bro's visa has finally been submitted and It's all just a waiting game now, I'll be so relieved when It all comes through and we can just get on with life and the joys ahead. Initially he will be coming out on a tourist visa and has been told that he is only permitted to stay for 3 months. After the 3 month period he will need to leave the country for a period of time before being allowed back in. We may be looking at going to Thailand for a month but that's up in the air at the moment as It's such a long time to be away with a 2 month old, hopefully we dont need to leave for thAt long. I'm sure It will all work out so trying not to think about it all!!!
I'm pretty much set with all things baby, I think mum has enjoyed having me back here as she has dragged me out on many occasions to go bubba shopping! It's now driving me crazy not knowing the sex, next time around I will definitely be finding out- I dont care what anyone says!!! Bro is convinced It's a boy so I'm hoping for a girl just to prove him wrong but either way I'm happy =)
Friday, August 5, 2011
Old Wives Tales tells me Its a.......Girl lol
Linea Nigra: Boy
The old wives tale is this – if you get a línea nigra and it runs from your pubic area to your belly button only, it’s a girl, and if it goes all the way up from your pubic area to the bottom-most part of you rib cage, then it’s a boy.
Dry or Soft? Boy
If your skin is dry, you’re said to be having a boy – and if it’s soft, then a girl is on the way.
What’s Baby’s Heartrate? Girl
First, to set the record straight, until it’s born, your baby’s heartrate will not be affected by it’s gender. But so they say, if you’re carrying a girl, then baby’s heartrate will be above 140bpm (beats per minute). A boy is said to have a heart rate under 140bpm. A study published in the Journal of Reproductive Medicine (1996) has dismissed this theory, as has other research. Your baby’s heart rate will change often during a pregnancy, depending on the baby’s age and it’s movement. Anything from 120-160bpm is normal for an unborn baby.
Ahhh, Now I Know Why We Learn Maths At School! Boy
Because if you combine your age at the time of conception with the number of the month you conceived and the resulting number is odd – then it’s a girl on the way. If the resulting number is even, then it’s a boy for you.
Sweet, Salty or Sour? Girl
Another well known old wives tale!!! Are you craving sweet foods like juice, fruits and chocolate? if so, old wives say that you could be having a girl. But if you’re craving sour or salty foods, then you could be having a boy. It’s also said that if you are having a boy, you will crave protein like meat and dairy. I have trouble believing this one because I think we’d be overrun by a population of females – we all love chocolate pregnant or not!
Morning Sickness? Girl
Did you experience morning sickness in early pregnancy? If you did, then you’re said to be carrying a girl, but if you didn’t have morning sickness, then it’s a boy. Oh! That one was actually true for me!
Cold Feet? Girl
If your feet get colder than they used to pre-pregnancy, it’s a sign you have a boy on the way. If your feet are the same, then it’s a girl!
What Does Your Belly Look Like? Boy
A basketball or a watermelon? Because if it looks more like a basketball, then old wives say boy, but if it more resembles a watermelon then it’s a girl.
Hairy Legs? Girl
Has the hair on your legs grown faster than normal? Or has it grown just like normal? Because if it’s growing faster than it did pre-pregnancy, then you’re said to be having a boy.
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